Don’t Be “That Guy” on Twitter

Don't Be

Witty tweets are the best kind! This comes from Julius Sharpe, one of the writers of Family Guy.

Marina Smoske, PhD in Twitter Studies

Any FHSer with a Twitter knows that the social network is home to some less-than-desirable tweets and tweeters. Sometimes it gets so annoying that we just can’t make sense of it all!  So, I’ve spent years (3 days) hunched over my computer, cataloguing the biggest Twitter “don’ts” for your convenience.

The first step is admitting you have a problem.

The Sports Commentator: “DID YOU SEE THAT? CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?”  Yes, I did see it, and yes, I can believe it because I’m watching the same show as you are.  And if I’m not, I’m probably uninterested.

The Indirect Tweeter: Anyone with a Twitter knows one of these.  They want you to know you wronged them, you made them cry, they really like you.  Except they don’t want you to know.  They’re just being passive-aggressive and bitter.  Think Dr. House meets a whiny middle schooler.

The Indirect-Indirect Tweeter: A person who indirectly-tweets about someone who has indirectly-tweeted about them, i.e. “Don’t be tweeting about me.  Say it to my face, (insert expletive here)!” “What a coward, not using my name.”  My response is usually “hypocrisy squared!” because I’m clever.

The Good Girl: She’s proud of her modesty in every way shape or form.  She thus wants certain girls to “face it, you’re a slut.”  She’s unaware that she’s not above those girls in any way at all.  We’ve had this talk before, you guys.  Slut-shaming is wrong.

The Political Activist: This is not the person who shares their political opinions or tries to call attention to important issues.  This is the person who is definitely right, ergo literally everyone else is wrong.

The Model: Constantly posting selfies with no clear purpose or context information.  We know what you look like, simmer down.

The Instigator: Starts Twitter beefs.  Simple as that.

I’m always laughing about the fact that the author’s of the world’s most irritating tweets cant seem to recognize the effect they have on their peers.  Sure, we’d love to unfollow them, but they’re our friends and at some point we committed to standing by them and their ideas, online and in actual real life that matters.  The unfollow button is not the answer.

How bad is the epidemic of bad tweeting?  If the fact that I just called it an epidemic isn’t any indication, Matt Michaels, a senior, says he stays off Twitter completely because of “all of the above.”

“People tweet about everything they do. they used to do it on Facebook but then twitter became popular and they all moved to tweeting about every single little thing they do. Good riddance, now I can browse Facebook in peace.”

If you or a friend meets any of the above descriptions, I recommend a full scale intervention, possibly a stint of Twitter sobriety until you can present your thoughts in a better way.   If we can all work to avoid being “that guy,” we can all enjoy the wonders of social media together, in peace.

…Did I mention that you can find me on Twitter @SmosKoshBgosh?  Thought it was worth mentioning.

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